So there's this guy (we'll call him Pii) who's very good friends with my new host family. He's about 45ish years old and has a wife who's in the hospital, and children. He's not Rotary, but he owns several factories across Thailand and his daily job is to travel the country to check in on them, and answer constant business calls. At first, I thought this was awesome because he's super energetic, happy, drives like a maniac in his suited up car, and enjoys travel for a living. Also, my host family trusts Pii entirely because he's such a successful businessman and has no problem with me going with him, which is extremely rare. It seems logical to assume that, because Pii's middle-aged and has a wife and kids, he's not going to be creepy right? Wrong.
When I first met Pii Pao, he was eager to take me places, and I was eager to go. The first day I met him, he randomly says "hey, wanna go to Lampang?" (he speaks Thai, so any conversation on here is translated) and off we went. Half way there, he stops and decides to show me his houses in Chiang Mai. As he's driving, he shows me photos of the places he's been, tells me about all of his factories and his many workers, about his couple hundred transport trucks he bought, and his two super expensive cars from Japan, about how he only buys top quality things, about how his wife's in the hospital so it's okay to have a girlfriend, about all the good work he's done, etc. After driving past Pii's factories, it was pretty clear that the many workers he talked about weren't living quite as lavishly as he was... at all. One of the only things he said in English was "I perfect man in Thailand". So, even if there's something wrong with his translation, I was getting a pretty clear impression he's kind of a self-obsessed dick.
After getting to Pii's first house, he tells me to make myself at home; I see numerous photo albums sitting on the coffee table, so I sit down to look at them. Now here we go.
After a few seconds, I feel him kneeling down behind me, putting his arms around my waist and chin on my shoulder, talking about how his wife is in the hospital every night and at the temple every day, so she hasn't been around in a long time. He kisses my neck and asks if I will be his girlfriend. Shocked and extremely uncomfortable, I assume it's a bizarre joke, laugh, say no, and stand up as quickly as possible. He starts looking upset and asking why and I, still under the impression it's a joke, laugh uncomfortably and say it's not good. He starts motioning with his hands and explaining he's had a vasectomy so he doesn't need to worry about making anyone pregnant, and when he wants to have children again, he can just get it reversed. At first I don't understand this is what he's saying because I'm not expecting it at all. I say absolutely nothing afterward, so he offers to show me around some more.
We get upstairs and he shows me the bathrooms and kids' rooms, joking how it's for "our kids" in the future. I laugh awkwardly, silently bothered that his joke's gone so far. Theeeen we get to the bedroom that he and his wife used to share before she became badly injured. I try to stay away from him, extremely awkward about his ongoing "joke". He asks if it's a nice, comfortable room. I'm refraining from doing anything, so just answer with answer he expects; yes. I start heading toward the door again, but he wraps his arms arms around me before I get there and is glued to my side. His lips are on my neck again, his hands are moving tightly along my waist, and he says "Anny, I love you; it's the truth." My stupidity finally passes and I realize it's way too far for a joke, that this guy is a creep, and I have to get out. I croak out "Mai dai!" which is like "can't!" and push away, but for the first time ever I feel a man's arms physically holding me hard against my will. His lips travel up my neck and I twist my head as far away as possible. Seeing my response, he lets go with one arm, spins me around, and rips the blanket off the bed with the other. His lips never leave my neck as he says fervently "can lay down, can lay down" I feel him pulling me toward the bed and it sinks into my mind how much stronger than me his arms are. In a burst of panic, I put all my weight into halting, and blurt out "Pai tio dai mai ka?!", which is kind of hard to translate, but is along the lines of asking to go travel/somewhere else. He stops, looks at me, seems to remember that travelling is what he told my host family we were doing, and says okay. He arms let go of me, and I get out of the room.
I didn't have much of a wave of relief when I left the room because I didn't really process what had happened, and I still wasn't free of him. That was the most the most terrifying moment absolutely, but the story with this guy still isn't done.
The minute we leave the room, he appears completely unaware of what had happened and continues showing me around, which was bloody weird. We continue the rest of the tours of his houses as before, with him being obnoxiously egotistic and occasionally making slight, uncomfortable references to us being together. I ask we can pick up a friend, terrified of being alone with this guy any longer, but he refuses and says he doesn't want to (that's pretty normal for Canada, but in Thailand travelling anywhere is special/exciting and people generally try to bring as many people as will fit in the car). I call my friend Arm who lives in Chiang Mai and ask him to join us. Pii, seeing as I'm on the phone already, says okay. But when he begins talking to Arm over the phone about where to meet up, he just says "We'll call you after we eat" and hangs up. We don't go anywhere to eat for about an hour, so I ask if we can go pick up Arm, but Pii says apologetically "Sorry, we're going in the opposite direction of where your friend lives", and keeps going. Then my cell phone dies and I'm alone with him with no outside contact. Well shit. We go to a hot springs spa park and he buys eggs to boil in the water, somtam, and other various things to eat, and we put our feet in the water (it's what you're supposed to do). It's super awkward when he keeps taking his shirt off and putting his arm around me.
When we head back to Lamphun, he offers to take me to Mae Hong Son the next morning. (Kay guys, here's where the stupid, travel-obsessed Anneke comes in; Mae Hong Son is beautiful and, creeps aside, I did want to go). I ask if I can bring a friend and he flat out says no. I keep arguing for another person to come, but he refuses bring another person under any circumstance. When I say I don't want to go if my friend can't, he say it's okay and I don't have to come. So that's done, I think.
After returning home, I run upstairs to get away from him, charge my phone, and tell Arm I'm okay. Behind me, I hear Pii telling my host mom he's going to pick me up at 5 tomorrow morning for a 2-day trip to Mae Hong Son. Daffuq???
Upon returning downstairs, my host mom asks me about going to Mae Hong Son tomorrow. I'm not sure what to tell her because they know and trust Pii much longer than they've known me, so I tell her he kissed my neck and that I don't trust him. She's surprised that he'd kissed my neck, but tells me he's safe, assuring me that he already has a wife and kids. Then she says I can take a friend (in Thailand, it is perfectly okay and considered a smart choice if a woman's uncomfortable going alone with a guy, no matter who). Because we're staying in a hotel, she says it has to be a girl friend because girls and guys can't share a room (understandable), so I call Carol and she agrees to come. My host mom calls Pii, who says he understands completely and would welcome another traveller -_-
The next morning, when Carol first meets Pii, she likes him, just like I did. He makes pretty good first impressions. This gets me thinking maybe he's not so bad and, despite the creepiness and extreme self-absorbedness, he's actually pretty cool.
After a few hours though, we're both annoyed with him. Stopping at his factories so he can show us his workers from all over the world [as if these workers he pays so terribly are his property], constantly talking about his cars and trucks, comparing them to random cars on the road, talking about the quality and origin of every article of his clothing, about his millionaire friends, about how his driving is perfect so we needn't be scared, laughing at Carol when she was [and still not bloody slowing down].
[This isn't to bring down where we were actually going. Despite being nauseous from his driving up the mountain road, Mae Hong Son province is stunning; mountains and wildlife everywhere. We went to a missionary camp, which I truly believe was one of the most memorable experiences of exchange. When it was possible to ignore Pii's constant "see these houses? I did that. I gave them all that wood. These people have houses because of me. I never took any money from UN Asia, just my own. I'm so happy because I made all of this", it was pretty amazing. Hidden way in the middle of the mountains, this small community of the Karen tribe lives in handmade bamboo houses, bamboo bridges, dirt roads, and no technology save for a few of the camp officials. Their entire lives and everything they know was this secret little camp in the middle of the mountains. They didn't even speak Thai; they spoke Karenese. I would have loved to stay about a week there; living with them, watching them, learning, and taking pictures. However, we had to go into Mae Hong Son because Pii insisted there was no decent place to sleep in the camp.]
In Mae Hong Son, we visit the same temple we went to on a Rotary trip. It's pretty awesome and the view of Mae Hong Son is beautiful, but Pii has a giant camera and keeps taking pictures of me, and getting Carol to take pictures of me and him. Super uncomfortable. Later, at a restaurant, I take a seat next to Carol, but Pii has us switch tables and before sitting down, he motions I sit next to him. The entire meal, he puts his arm on my shoulders and tries to massage my neck before I push his hand away. He orders a bottle of whiskey, claiming it's to help him sleep, and insists we drink too. When refuse (finding it really shitty that we, the teenage exchange students, have to be the responsible ones), he pours some into our Coke, and Carol and I stop drinking altogether. As his alcohol level increases, he touches me and slides closer more often. Eventually, Carol and I decide to leave, so we tell him we're going for a walk and leave to walk around the city. After a little bit, he picks us up and I sit in the back with Carol, explaining after Pii's many protestations that I want to talk with Carol. During the drive home, it's pouring rain, he's drunk, and talking on the phone to someone. Needless to say, Carol and I start wearing seat belts.
Carol and I sneaked out after midnight to actually go and enjoy Mae Hong Song, which ended up only walking to 7/11, buying chocolates, excitedly freaking out over motorcyclists in the dark, and eating the chocolates back at the hotel room (she and I had our own room). This part of the night was pretty awesome and made the trip enjoyable; we were both eager to actually go out and have some fun, even if it was just walking down the street a few kilometers.
The next day, we didn't want to wake up for breakfast, so Pii ordered room service for us. As we were eating, he came into our room. We weren't saying much to him, so he walked over and laid on my bed, watching and talking as we ate, much to our annoyance. When we left the hotel and made our way down the mountain, he hit the switchbacks as fast as usual. I vomited up my breakfast on the side of the road at one point, and he was quite happy to take pictures of me during that. Not that being sick changed his driving or anything.
When we arrived in Chiang Mai, I got out of the car with Carol and went to her house, rather than going with Pii back to Lamphun. Carol and I both survived and decided not to have anything to do with him ever again.
I've since ignored his calls, but when I was with Nu in Udon, Pii called and I answered. Somehow he knew I was in Udon and offered to pick me up when I wanted to go home. Udon is a ten hour drive. You don't just "pick someone up" who's ten hours away. I said it was fine and I was perfectly happy taking the bus.
Two evenings ago, my host mom handed me a package that Pii dropped of. Inside were over 50 full-size printed photos of me and him from the Mae Hong Son trip. I asked my host mom if there were any pictures of Carol and she said no. She looked at me funny and said he likes to take pictures of pretty girls, and I get the impression she's starting to understand. However, then she looked at me sternly and said "You're going to call to thank him, right?" I said yes. Then "and you're going to start answering his calls too, right?" I suppose he'd told her so I said yes again. I didn't need to call him though, because a few minutes later he called me to make sure I got them. I answered, thanked him, and responded neutrally until he had nothing else to say, and hung up.
And that is where it stands at the moment. Stuck with 50+ pictures of myself and casually trying to avoid him. Wish me luck.
EDIT: Anyone wishing to know the aftermath of this story can find it here.
When we head back to Lamphun, he offers to take me to Mae Hong Son the next morning. (Kay guys, here's where the stupid, travel-obsessed Anneke comes in; Mae Hong Son is beautiful and, creeps aside, I did want to go). I ask if I can bring a friend and he flat out says no. I keep arguing for another person to come, but he refuses bring another person under any circumstance. When I say I don't want to go if my friend can't, he say it's okay and I don't have to come. So that's done, I think.
After returning home, I run upstairs to get away from him, charge my phone, and tell Arm I'm okay. Behind me, I hear Pii telling my host mom he's going to pick me up at 5 tomorrow morning for a 2-day trip to Mae Hong Son. Daffuq???
Upon returning downstairs, my host mom asks me about going to Mae Hong Son tomorrow. I'm not sure what to tell her because they know and trust Pii much longer than they've known me, so I tell her he kissed my neck and that I don't trust him. She's surprised that he'd kissed my neck, but tells me he's safe, assuring me that he already has a wife and kids. Then she says I can take a friend (in Thailand, it is perfectly okay and considered a smart choice if a woman's uncomfortable going alone with a guy, no matter who). Because we're staying in a hotel, she says it has to be a girl friend because girls and guys can't share a room (understandable), so I call Carol and she agrees to come. My host mom calls Pii, who says he understands completely and would welcome another traveller -_-
The next morning, when Carol first meets Pii, she likes him, just like I did. He makes pretty good first impressions. This gets me thinking maybe he's not so bad and, despite the creepiness and extreme self-absorbedness, he's actually pretty cool.
After a few hours though, we're both annoyed with him. Stopping at his factories so he can show us his workers from all over the world [as if these workers he pays so terribly are his property], constantly talking about his cars and trucks, comparing them to random cars on the road, talking about the quality and origin of every article of his clothing, about his millionaire friends, about how his driving is perfect so we needn't be scared, laughing at Carol when she was [and still not bloody slowing down].
[This isn't to bring down where we were actually going. Despite being nauseous from his driving up the mountain road, Mae Hong Son province is stunning; mountains and wildlife everywhere. We went to a missionary camp, which I truly believe was one of the most memorable experiences of exchange. When it was possible to ignore Pii's constant "see these houses? I did that. I gave them all that wood. These people have houses because of me. I never took any money from UN Asia, just my own. I'm so happy because I made all of this", it was pretty amazing. Hidden way in the middle of the mountains, this small community of the Karen tribe lives in handmade bamboo houses, bamboo bridges, dirt roads, and no technology save for a few of the camp officials. Their entire lives and everything they know was this secret little camp in the middle of the mountains. They didn't even speak Thai; they spoke Karenese. I would have loved to stay about a week there; living with them, watching them, learning, and taking pictures. However, we had to go into Mae Hong Son because Pii insisted there was no decent place to sleep in the camp.]
In Mae Hong Son, we visit the same temple we went to on a Rotary trip. It's pretty awesome and the view of Mae Hong Son is beautiful, but Pii has a giant camera and keeps taking pictures of me, and getting Carol to take pictures of me and him. Super uncomfortable. Later, at a restaurant, I take a seat next to Carol, but Pii has us switch tables and before sitting down, he motions I sit next to him. The entire meal, he puts his arm on my shoulders and tries to massage my neck before I push his hand away. He orders a bottle of whiskey, claiming it's to help him sleep, and insists we drink too. When refuse (finding it really shitty that we, the teenage exchange students, have to be the responsible ones), he pours some into our Coke, and Carol and I stop drinking altogether. As his alcohol level increases, he touches me and slides closer more often. Eventually, Carol and I decide to leave, so we tell him we're going for a walk and leave to walk around the city. After a little bit, he picks us up and I sit in the back with Carol, explaining after Pii's many protestations that I want to talk with Carol. During the drive home, it's pouring rain, he's drunk, and talking on the phone to someone. Needless to say, Carol and I start wearing seat belts.
Carol and I sneaked out after midnight to actually go and enjoy Mae Hong Song, which ended up only walking to 7/11, buying chocolates, excitedly freaking out over motorcyclists in the dark, and eating the chocolates back at the hotel room (she and I had our own room). This part of the night was pretty awesome and made the trip enjoyable; we were both eager to actually go out and have some fun, even if it was just walking down the street a few kilometers.
The next day, we didn't want to wake up for breakfast, so Pii ordered room service for us. As we were eating, he came into our room. We weren't saying much to him, so he walked over and laid on my bed, watching and talking as we ate, much to our annoyance. When we left the hotel and made our way down the mountain, he hit the switchbacks as fast as usual. I vomited up my breakfast on the side of the road at one point, and he was quite happy to take pictures of me during that. Not that being sick changed his driving or anything.
When we arrived in Chiang Mai, I got out of the car with Carol and went to her house, rather than going with Pii back to Lamphun. Carol and I both survived and decided not to have anything to do with him ever again.
I've since ignored his calls, but when I was with Nu in Udon, Pii called and I answered. Somehow he knew I was in Udon and offered to pick me up when I wanted to go home. Udon is a ten hour drive. You don't just "pick someone up" who's ten hours away. I said it was fine and I was perfectly happy taking the bus.
Two evenings ago, my host mom handed me a package that Pii dropped of. Inside were over 50 full-size printed photos of me and him from the Mae Hong Son trip. I asked my host mom if there were any pictures of Carol and she said no. She looked at me funny and said he likes to take pictures of pretty girls, and I get the impression she's starting to understand. However, then she looked at me sternly and said "You're going to call to thank him, right?" I said yes. Then "and you're going to start answering his calls too, right?" I suppose he'd told her so I said yes again. I didn't need to call him though, because a few minutes later he called me to make sure I got them. I answered, thanked him, and responded neutrally until he had nothing else to say, and hung up.
And that is where it stands at the moment. Stuck with 50+ pictures of myself and casually trying to avoid him. Wish me luck.
EDIT: Anyone wishing to know the aftermath of this story can find it here.
